One: Don’t try and do everything yourself.

Life goes on. Household chores including meal preparation, shopping, and driving children to their activities still need to get done—but you don’t need to do all of them.

• Delegate—Friends and family love to be given a job in a time of crisis.
• Tailor the task to the individual—Utilise the varying strengths of your friends. One person might be able to help with paperwork, make official phone calls and deal with bureaucracy; another could keep the support network up-to-date and coordinate visitors so as not to tire the patient; another could babysit. Think about what you need done, and who would be best able to help you with it.

Two: Ask questions of treating practitioners.

Request a private consultation with treating practitioners so that you can speak freely, without upsetting anybody. Compile a list of questions beforehand. Ask for the best and worst outcomes if that’s the information you need.

Three: Don’t be intimidated.

If you still have questions or you feel they haven’t been answered, make another appointment. Cultivate a good relationship with the practitioner’s receptionist – she may be able to ‘translate’ or act as a conduit where necessary.

Four: Find out about services available to you.

Make enquiries of your local council to see if you qualify for some kind of assistance. An Occupational Therapist (OT) might be able to make suggestions. For example, in Victoria you might be able to access Therapy in the Home. Other states and territories will offer other supports.

Five: Don’t forget about finances.

Avoid the temptation to throw money at the problem in the hope of speeding up the resolution. At the height of a crisis, the cost of care is the furthest thing from your mind, but becoming impoverished as a result of long-term rehabilitation becomes one more thing to worry about when the initial crisis has passed.

Six: Find out what financial assistance is available

There is a government grant of $5000 per individual over their lifetime to assist with the installation of equipment in the home to assist the ageing or the infirm. The Home and Community Care (HACC) program is funded 60% by the Commonwealth and 40% by the State, and administered by the State.

Seven: Make inquiries regarding specialists in post-rehabilitation home modifications.

There are builders who  specialise in this area. They are not necessarily the cheapest option, but they have a good understanding of the principles behind the modifications. Once again, your OT may be able to advise you of local specialist builders.

Eight: Speak to YOUR employer regarding leave options.

Your partner is not the only person who may need time off work. If you’re struggling to juggle your caring role with your paid employment, there are two main possibilities:

1. Carer’s leave: an employee is entitled to use up to five days personal leave each year as carer’s leave. For more detail follow the link.
2. Alleviation of workload: in some cases, employers may be able to make provisions for reducing the number of hours you are required at work, either through employing a casual replacement or allowing you to work from home where feasible.

Nine: Avoid negative or unhelpful people.

This is a time to surround yourself with positive people who are sensitive to your situation.

Ten: Look after your own health.

Don’t let caring for your partner jeopardise your own health and wellbeing . As per the emergency instructions on a plane flight, you must attach your own gas mask before you attempt to help others attach theirs.

Eleven: Seek professional help when required.

“Never cry alone” is good advice but is not always practical. Individuals experiencing trauma sometimes feel they are burdening others with their woes. Professional therapists are paid to listen and can be generally relied upon for good advice.

Twelve: Allow yourself to hope for the best.

Realistic optimism is the way to go.