Office bullying continues to burden employees and employers worldwide. Numerous studies have cited the destructive psychological, sociological and economical impact bullies can have on a workplace. A bully’s tactics can lead to significant mental health problems for the victim and a reduction in morale and productivity in those around them. Bullying results in psychological harm for victims, and huge amounts of money lost as a result of employees working at reduced capacity and/or taking various kinds of leave.

Make no mistake, bullying is a serious issue that in many situations (ie physical intimidation) cannot be helped by any level of intelligent reaction. Furthermore, in situations where management and HR are unwilling or incapable of taking action (ie bully is close with management, bully is the boss), victim’s are backed into a corner of legal action or the classifieds.  

While these are important issues, the implementation and enforcement of bullying procedures is a topic for another day. The following tips seek to help victims deal with less severe, isolated instances of bullying, as well as manage more severe cases while awaiting further action.

WHAT THEY DO – HOW TO IDENTIFY A BULLY

• Actively or passively angry, pushy and aggressive (their aggressiveness is the manifestation of some kind of need, typically insecurity)
• Always need to be seen as right
• Find enjoyment in belittling and dominating others
• Loud and demonstrative, try to dominate other personalities to get their way, or at least have the final say
• Often prey on the weakest targets (those with quieter dispositions, new employees with no social network), although research suggests they also target those who represent a personal and professional threat to them (intelligent, diligent workers with high emotional intelligence who are liked by others)

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

Bullying can come in many different forms. The nature, extent and frequency of the bullying will dictate what kind of response you need to take, from simply laying down some ground rules, to confronting them, to seeking intervention from higher up the chain of command.

1. Control your emotions

Because interactions with a bully will often be emotional, it is important that you have a game plan and the mental toughness to execute it in the heat of the moment.

Balance is the key, at least initially. ‘Fighting fire with fire’ will likely worsen the immediate and long-term situation. At the same time, lying down and allowing the bully to dominate will extend to them an implicit invitation to carry on acting the same way in the future.

Your goal should be to maintain calm assertiveness when dealing with a bully. This requires more discipline than you would think. The combative nature of the bully triggers our ‘fight or flight’ response, making as want to roll over, or draw guns. Stay focused, when you lose control of your emotions, you are less likely to be able to say the right thing at the right time.

2. Communicate deliberately

a)      Hold, then fire – Allow the bully to say all they need to say, once they have exhausted themselves, consider the content of what they have said and respond calmly. If you can’t hold their attention, try repeating their name until you do.

b)      Stand your ground – You have let them have their say, now make sure you have yours. If you are interrupted, point out that you gave them the opportunity to say their piece and that they should do the same for you. Also

• Maintain strong eye contact throughout and say his or her name clearly;
• Keep body language in mind, attempt to get them to sit, if they won’t, stand up with confidence; and
• Breathe slowly and deliberately, this will assist you in keeping control.

3. Label the conduct as unacceptable

Specify the conduct that you believe to be unacceptable.

Although it won’t necessarily provide a justification, sometimes the bully will be unaware that their conduct is offending you. In these cases, drawing the offensive conduct to their attention might be enough to make them stop.

In situations where your protest has little effect on your bully, it still won’t be a pointless exercise. You will be able to say that you communicated this to the co-worker, and there was no confusion about their conduct being deliberate.

4. Confront them

In situations where it is possible to do so, you need to confront the bully.

• Tell them that you would like to speak with them in private.
• Consider bringing in a neutral colleague to witness (that you tell them about before hand)
• Tell them what conduct you deem unacceptable (ie verbal attacks of a vulgar or sexual nature).
• Tell that why it is a problem (ie it makes me feel uncomfortable)
• Tell them it needs to stop (ie please stop making these kinds of comments in the future)
• Be prepared to take further action if they don’t stop.

This will take a great deal of courage, but you can be sure that the bullying won’t stop without action. Taking the step to reason with bully, and explaining your position will demonstrate that you have tried everything in your power to resolve the situation yourself.

5. If bullying is severe or ongoing, pursue intervention

In situations where the bullying is severe or ongoing, you will likely have to pursue some kind of formal resolution, or consider leaving your job.

a)      Gather evidence – compile evidence of the offending conduct by keeping a diary, retaining notes, e-mails etc. This kind of evidence will be useful if you are later trying to recall an incident, or prove a course of offensive conduct.

• Have other people who have been targeted to also keep records, the more victims, instances, evidence and witnesses you have, the better your chance of proving a case of bullying will be.

b)      Make it formal –depending on what position the bully holds, seek out a sympathetic audience such as management, human resources, union officials etc.

c)      Take action - as an option of last resort, you may wish to consult with a union or employment lawyer about your legal options.

GAMEplan

Goal = at best, establish that you are no pushover have the bully back down, at worst, stand your ground under fire/take measured steps to address unacceptable behaviour

Action = calm assertiveness.

Mindset = stand your ground, attempt to make it work, if the bully is incapable of listening to reason, take action

Effect = establish that you are no pushover, improve your working conditions, achieve an end to the attacks.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Office bullying is a serious problem that requires serious attention. Action must be calm and assertive, but if all reasonable attempts have been made to settle the situation yourself, intervention from your employer must be sought. If management is not receptive to your claims (and you don’t want to take legal action), you have to ask yourself whether your job is worth your mental health?